Am I just overly sensitive or is it true we can’t escape reminders of death no matter how hard we try? Scott needs distraction therapy since he can no longer paint so we are often watching TV. Last night, thinking to avoid the horrors of nerve gas victims in Syria we turned to HBO…wrong move since it was a violent movie being shown….MTV seemed like a safe bet until the lyrics “We want our future! There is a time to die but not today!” were belted out over a scene of grisly war. I catch myself before saying things like this cookie is to die for or I’m dying to see that movie or would it kill you to be a little less sarcastic… the list of death related sayings in our culture is a long one. Even our projects have deadlines. Why is that?
Maybe because even though death comes for us all we never are really ready for it when it comes for us. All we really have is this day. Perhaps incorporating death into our everyday vernacular we make light of the grim reaper, giving a temporary sense of power over the inevitable. I don’t have the answers. I only have more questions. Especially now when I see my sweetheart having a long night of terrifying thoughts, powerlessness, and a singularity of mind: to want to live to the last breath in full consciousness with me by his side. This is an age old question that will probably invite a ton of comments to the blog: how can I believe in a god that would tolerate the suffering of even one man, woman, or child….let alone the hundreds of innocents in Syria who breathed in a horrible painful end last week?
A close friend sent me this link to an article called How Doctors Die. The piece is written by a physician who is a professor at USC. The gist of this essay is that most doctors the author knows choose NOT to have treatment at their own end-of-life scenarios. I read this out loud to Scott this morning as it is so in keeping with his own directive, to die with dignity. We both feel that this tabu topic needs more light shed on it. We hope that Scott’s singular journey has universal resonance that gives his life a richer meaning through sharing his story via this blog and his art.
Note: Thanks to Scott’s sister-in-law Ginger for sending us these gorgeous photographs today. The eye candy is appreciated and I apologize to the photographers for not giving appropriate credit.