This is my 3rd Christmas without Scott. It feels different this week. I’m noticing that my body feels rested, my mind feels sharp, and my spirit is turning more regularly to laughter than to tears. Scott is swirling all around me at times and it feels less sad to me and more like an “atta girl!”. I feel his approval and his blessing. Today in one of his sketchbooks I opened it up “randomly” and discovered a drawing he did of himself with a Christmas tree. The handmade paper he drew the picture on has glitter sparkles in it and that made me smile.
I’m not unhappy. The new year will be new. I’m determined to make it so. I am putting up firm boundaries to protect my fragile happiness from negative people and situations. I’ve begun writing the book and I’m nearly finished clearing the decks so that I can put all my energy and attention towards completing the book project. After that is done I expect I’ll be free to go in directions I haven’t even thought of yet!
With that said, wishing you all a very happy new year, too!