shock & awe

There’s something about having a new pope that makes me want to confess (and I’m not even Catholic!). Here it is: “caregiver’s guilt” is tripping me out…I feel partly responsible for Scott’s shock and awe yesterday looking in the mirror. Although I was not with him this time, I witnessed the look on his face back in January when he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror then while we were living at Sur La Mer. That horrified expression is etched on my brain forever. I was determined from that moment on to never let my handsome lover catch that look on MY face, no matter how bad it’s gonna get.

I have tried consciously to gaze on my beloved’s face with compassion so that what he sees reflected in my eyes is not frailty and the ravages of this f#cking disease but instead, his true essence: strength, courage, beauty, and love. It’s two and a half months later (and Ganeshe only knows how many pounds lighter) and I think I accomplished my mission very well. So well, in fact that until yesterday he was blissfully unaware of just how different his physical appearance had become. Yes, he resembles a saddhu now more than ever and like those holy naked wanderers he has acquired an incredible lightness of being. I’m now glad he knows what this disease has done to his body. Because already he is facing his fear and transforming the sickness into something very authentic and beautiful: Scott is making art by digitally manipulating images of himself in his altered state. FEAR NO ART!

work in progress ….(c) scott morgan 2013

We’d like to take a moment to thank our readers for giving us 500 “Likes” so far! WordPress just notified us of this achievement today. When we started this blog at the beginning of our journey back in November we never expected it to become bigger than our immediate circle of family and friends. Today after less than half a year our blog is close to 1400 regular followers and who knows how many once-in-a-whiles. Scott’s journey has captured the imagination and hearts of artists, friends, and strangers. Thank you for giving us both your steadfast attention and your wonderful encouragement. We like what we see reflected in your eyes.

11 thoughts on “shock & awe

  1. Hi Katy and Scott,
    I suppose I am one of the 1400 regulars, although I should really count as more because there are several people reading from iPad regularly – my daughter, my partner and guests. We often discuss the glimpses of your life that you share and discuss
    the wonderful art.

    I attended Scott’s going away party in High Point and along with my friend John Kelly and my partner Luci, were the last to leave your home. First time I met Katy.

    Actually, I have known Scott for a very long time and have had short conversations with him at various spots across the globe. Although the depth of my knowing him was not great – I always had him in mind and was on the lookout for him if just for a quick hello. My friend, John Kelly, always talked about Scott. I have always admired Johns work as a designer and his integrity as a person. John has always admired Scott and always referred to him as his mentor. Often, when I had a question about the design world, I would go to John. Almost always, John would either quote “Uncle Scott” or refer me to him for the answer. Every High Point market, I take a group of friends to the Thai restaurant in HP. It has become the base for and always sends me and my guests away happy. I always wondered how we ended up there in the first place… I know. Another great discovery by Scott.

    One of the great things about this blog is that it has allowed me to know Scott better….and Katy, what an amazing surprise. People like you two are very hard to find.

    I lost my father to cancer a few years ago and in many respects have traveled the path Katy is on. I know it is a difficult road and find comfort in witnessing the way Scott and Katy travel this road together. I offer my respect and admiration and am taking good notes. Like my friend John Kelly, I can now call Scott my mentor….not for Design, but rather for life. In fact, I get the bonus package, which includes Katy.

    Thank you both for sharing glimpses of your journey. I am sure that the regular 1400+ followers of your blog are not just “followers”. They are like me, a student.

    Smiles and happiness from a cold London. Keep on blogging and making art.

    Tim Branscome


  2. Katy, I’d like to say “don’t feel guilty” but that only negates your very real feelings. You have done something truly remarkable. You have helped Scott through an incredibly tough time with grace, love, and tremendous inner strength. Love you…


  3. TIM: Scott triedto email you…this is from him:


    you. always. had. sparkle in your. eyes and. great n happy smile. no matter where we were. ,and. boy. did. run into. you everywher in the globe we. enjoyed. so. much. while. seeming to. be. working. in the crazy. world. of. furnyture,always. enjoyed. sharing. some. kinda up lifting
    earthly. delight. we. dug. up. in. evry port of. call,was. fuh,jhn kelly. was. always. wild. card. kid. from nyc. who. ran. in. the same. nutz places i. was ,u. to,always. there. hvn. fun,nice. thoughts. know. we. never. had lotz. time. to. hang. but. always enjoyed. your. spirit. n. fact you. worked. vegas yahoos,what. a. crazy time. that was,enjoyed. your. midnite. hang. my. last. nt. was. a. going. away. party that. was. amazing. the. ties n chips. now. travel. the globe. good luck pcs n ties. that. bind. us. all togethr. forever,
    stay. in touch. i. love. hearing. whatz. goimg. on. ,send photos. updates. about. your. life. anytime,tell john. to. e. mail. me. illl see if he gets copy. ofthis. onE
    hugz n hv great. life
    doing. art. n. movies evryday


  4. I’ve been wanting to let people know about your blog so much. But I was afraid it was too personal to spread the word to ‘strangers’. On the other hand your journey might help others with their own.


  5. Thank you, Maureen….for all the drop-in visits that made our last summer all together so much the sweeter….and for taking care of our babies. Thank you Corine for getting the word out to your enormous Hidden in France audience…..but most importantly thank you and Joe for introducing me to my soulmate. Thank you Jainee for being my dream sister and helping me recognize my beauty. Thank you Tim for your lovely comments…and for extending that High Point farewell party that we never wanted to end…we are pleased to be so highly regarded. Goodnight from Goa. K


  6. Pingback: there ought to be clowns | going to goa

  7. Pingback: rainy day dream away | going to goa

  8. Pingback: the new normal | going to goa

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s