6 months later

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thin man goes to goa /season 62 final episode (c) scott morgan 2013

Six months ago today Scott was in the hospital at UNC Chapel Hill getting the results of his colonoscopy emergency biopsy. The surgeon told him he had Stage IV matasticized stomach cancer, inoperable, nothing we can do, go home and get your affairs in order. She also told him–and later his oncologist confirmed–he had 2 to 4 months to live. Scott wasted no time in setting his end game plan in motion. A farewell party was held in High Point the very next night because a majority of his friends ( including big sis Lindy) were in town for the furniture market week.

The first two weeks were a blur of shock, intense emotions, and frantic-yet-focused activity: we were going to goa so that Scott would be able to die with dignity in his beloved India in a tranquil setting unencumbered by the directives of the US healthcare and legal systems. We had 150 friends show up for the party, we had another 50 in and out throughout the ten last days in High Point. It was a full 58 hours before there was an intimate chunk of time available for us to discuss with just each other what was happening, what we were feeling, where we were going. It was clear from the start, with houseguests arriving daily, that unlike most people who withdraw into their private cocoons when receiving this kind of bad news, Scott’s larger-than-life personality meant this overwhelming experience would be shared. We deliberately opened it up further by blogging about it.

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rainbow bridge (c)scott morgan 2013

Hundreds of friends from every juncture of Scott’s richly textured life (including two exwives who traveled to High Point to spend time with him), 1397 blog followers as of this writing, hoteliers who quickly embraced us as family joined our actual family in supporting us both while we embarked on Scott’s last adventure. We didn’t know the public would embrace us when we began this blog but it turns out Scott’s story has universal application, inspiring people for many different reasons. The story is one of courage, strength, originality, creativity, love and commitment. And endurance.

On this half year anniversary we are most grateful that Scott has already greatly exceeded the doctors’ predictions. There have been numerous ups and downs and this past week has been challenging, the past few nights very tough. Last night Scott said to me I feel like I have two different bodies, one from the neck up and one from the neck down. And while the plumbing is still working, the pipes are rusted at best. There is breakthrough pain that makes eating and sleeping and well anything a chore. We have a cornucopia of pain killers. So…. I am shutting down. What?! You heard me: I am shutting down.

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shadowz (c)scott morgan 2013

He put his fave 60’s rock band Spirit‘s “Give a Life, Take a Life” on iTunes and their haunting refrain …now I’m thinking the ship is sinking, and I’m scared, you have the right to take my life away… and listened to this beautiful song repeatedly. We’ve listened to this album hundreds of times over the 8 years we’ve been together and now the lyrics….well, you get the idea, don’t you? I went to bed, not because I was tired but because the fountain of sorrow cannot be allowed to flow yet. I need to be here now. I didn’t come this far to send Scott adrift with a leaky liferaft, did I? Later Scott woke me up at 4 AM and we opened the door to the moonless night in order to hear the pounding waves better. He sent out this email and then he decided to share it here:

From: scott morgan
Date: April 13, 2013, 3:33:18 AM GMT+05:

i am
shutting. down. quite qkly here. losing. plumbing battle….
katy. grt. art work at standstill…rt now
spirit,little slow,heart beating. mind. sharp
…..
body falling apart,keep me in e mailz
send photos. please…need to. hear. from all
liftsmy spirit. every e mail……..
Today. six. mo. anniv. since lft hosp w bad newz

body is. crumbling,no food intake three dayz
tired,n. getting. weaker. very. tuff time. rt. now……..sending huge hugz
love scotto

Sent from my heart…..

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12 thoughts on “6 months later

  1. Scott and Katy. – woke up this morning in Milan to read this. Very emotional. Scott – had dinner with Bill Becker couple of nights ago aNd we talked about you a lot and what you have meant to us individually and to the business. I won’t tell you to ‘hang in there’- you and your body and mind will know when it is time to go. You certainly have made us richer and shown us (as always) there are other paths to walk down. Big hug back at you . Andy

    Andy Thornton

    Sent from my iPhone Please note that my fingers are much bigger than these tiny letters AND my phone has its own ideas about spelling.

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  2. Scott, the saying “Don’t judge a man til you’ve walked a mile in his shoes…” comes to mind.

    You have pulled us all into your shoes these past six months. What a privilege it is to be your friend, and to “walk in your shoes” via this blog throughout the journey.

    All you need is love…and you have that in spades, my friends!

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  3. Your transparency–both literally and figuratively–draws us in, to the intensity of your moments, to the power of your spirit, to the vibrancy of your lasting creativity. Scott, you and Katy make us feel a part of an inspirational/spiritual journey that has only just begun.
    Love you both, Pat and Avery

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  4. Scott & Katy, 8 or 9 years ago Katy told me she had met you and was was moving to Maine. I just thought ” uh oh” , but wished her happiness and a grand adventure , and you have certainly provided her with both. I hope she’s done the same for you ! I don’t know you , but I do know Katy and she’s one of the bravest people I know and from your blog, I see that you are too. My love to both of you, comfort during this grave time , and peace always. XX Robin W.

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  5. We are an art class at Southeast High in Greensboro. Scoot, we love you, your art, and your spirit. Your message is being received and considered by my students: a group of NC teenagers who think you are unbelievable and open and honest and alive. You inspire now and into the future. Scott Morgan!! You are felt here in this class. We blow bubbles to you in India…

    Lisa Sterling

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  10. Reblogged this on going to goa and commented:

    I’m in the process of assembling notes for the book I’m writing. Printing out the Going to Goa Blog in its entirety. Reliving this particular post and realizing the magnitude of the journey. Since there are many new followers to the blog I thought this post was worth sharing again. Namaste, Katy

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