One fine day this past August my dog Loolie and I heard a loud thump on a small window not of the type one would usually worry about as being a danger to birds. We did not investigate the cause of the noise until later when I went outside to water my garden. I noticed a tiny bird lay motionless on the deck. Dead. Still warm when I held it in my hands, her bright yellow breast so beautiful against an olive green jacket.
Google helped me identify the bird as a “Mourning Warbler”. Such a clear message from beyond: time for the mourning in me to die. Its timing was impeccable, coming as it did three weeks before the third anniversary of Scott’s passing. I had never heard of one nor seen a bird like this before in my life until that day. I buried the Mourning Warbler in my garden so that my floral earth canvas might be nourished by her sacrifice.
In retrospect, many splendid healing moments have brought me back to my true self again and I finally know happiness once more. But recognizing the blatant symbolism of the Mourning Warbler was the precise turning point for me. I knew then that I had finally found my way back to inner peace.
I completed a painting this week and have received the perfect title for it. Nepenthe. It’s a painting of an actual sunset over Deer Isle, Maine. I’m told Nepenthe means a place to leave ones sorrows behind. It is also the name of one of Scott’s favorite retail haunts in Big Sur. Voila!
Nepenthe ©katy allgeyer 2016